You don't give me the time of day,(that's why I quit looking your way). You shut out all other's views,(though some may benefit you).
Your opinion can't advance,(you're held back by your own arrogance). When you close yourself up,(guess with whom you are stuck?)!
I love you so much it's annoying; I'm serious but you're just toying.
I think of you so often it's painful; when my worship's returned you're disdainful.
I want you so bad that I'm nervous; if you want me back then it's so superfluous.
I need you so much that I bleed!!
You will have your say,(I'm resigned to it anyway). Sure, I'll take the blame,(not the first time I've had to play your games).
Nothing seems to reach you,(I've quit counting the ways that I tried to). Someday maybe you'll see, (that, perhaps, you should have listened to me).
I never ever knew how good I taste; 'til you spit my heart back in my face. But what I really can't believe, is the pieces for you that I retrieve.
The more you crush, the more I rush right back to your arms-oh the agony; luscious! I can't help but help destroy myself!!
Broken ball...got one left.
HOW TAO NOW
A lack of direction moves me forward. Obstacles often steer clear of my way.
The stumbling of my feet find the right path. My finger's weakness replaced with new strength.
A shaded stalk will grow with more purpose. The insulted ear will hear only praise.
No blades pierce me; sharp barbs fall away. My thin skin is protectin' me all the day.
Urge to find true peace of mind; Here's a hint; search deep inside.
The dampening of my spirit steels my resolve. My heated body stands grateful in the cool spray..
Don't need no time piece to feel the day's pace. Mind your true self; you'll find your place!
...How Tao now?!
Letter checkers. You jump my meaning. I see red: you're in the black. What I'm saying, just isn't seeming...to get thru to you. The chips all stacked (against me).
Basic Communication, just ain't so. Didn't you learn your letters? Twist interpretations like a bow. I thought your ma taught you better.
All my words you change; how linguistic. Definition rearranged; how you twist it.
You're Perpetually pontificating.
Repeating and re-iterating.
I'm finding it far too frustrating...
You crown me with your logic; fiction diction you impart. I wince as your words grow caustic; you're one square off the mark.
Your personal honesty; I can't find it, (just as well). Basic integrity; you better bind it to yourself.
Identify, indentify, your who's and whats, the wheres and whys.
Memorize, please memorize, the new you that can now disquise.
Intensify, intensify, the image placed before their eyes.
Analyse, now analyse, the results of your pure packaged lies.
Memories melt with failures felt. They form a new truth; the one describing you.
Slice your insights with a knife. Redesign your life, until your mind's morning musing reflects the self you've borne anew.
You'll never long for yesterdays - that weren't first realized as today!
Identify, indentify. The personality decides.
Who deep inside you now resides; the new truth on which you've arrived.
Riding pride you jumped astride; unconscious conscience gagged and tied.
No surprise, there's no surprise; just disappointment in my eyes.
You cram for lessons you weren't taught. Planned for battles never fought.
A life prepared for things not there. It's worse when you're not even aware.
Identify! Your new truth.
Identify! Your new truth.
Identify it! Your new truth.
NON EXISTENT GIRLFRIEND
My non existent girlfriend, she never ever really was. I only know she dumped me. The reason; well, because.
I never got to know her too well; if even at all. That's 'cause she's a different girlfriend every time I'd call.
Didn't have much a future. Never really had a past. Not the best o' ways to go 'bout making a new love last.
But those things only matter...to a girlfriend who's for real. The kind likely to return all the good smells your eyes feel.
The pretend ones don't do that; don't see any reason to try. It's all so artificial, the pain and tears you cry.
Less baggage is standard..with a girlfriend of the mind. Them's the best ones you can bag-they's the finest you can find.
My non existent girlfriend, she don't love me because. My non existent girlfriend, she never ever really was.
My non existent girlfriend, she don't love me because. My non existent girlfriend, she never really fucking was.
NOT ALL I'VE LEARNED WAS NECESSARY
What I believe ain't been writ down. What I believe; not quite found. What I believe's felt as a sound. I do believe it's all around.
It's part of me. Inside of me. It's what I could be. ..And it's free.
What I have learned's now part of me. Hard lessons learned were burned into me. These lessons learned I survived barely. Not all I've learned was necessary.
Don't need me to tell. Hard lessons learned well...Rip you outa your shell, (I know hell).
Just how I feel can't be described. How I feel more than just alive. The pain, that to me, life prescribed...The pain that taught me to survive.
But watch what you close To get thru those moments.. Of doubts and lows. (I know how that goes)..
Not all I've learned...was necessary!
NOTHING BUT NUMB
Love is an illusion we fall into when we want to be somebody's priority.
Trust is a comfort we trick ourselves with to convince us a person is what we hope they are.
Hope is the willful closing of one's eyes to what we know will be otherwise.
Loyalty is a state of being we expect of those for whom we believe have the same commitment as ourselves.
I want nothin but numb. Gimme some. I want nothing, nothing but numb...
Betrayal is the ultimate act of evil done to us by the one we expect it from the least.
Faith is giving up by giving in to another's Rubicon concept of what salvation is.
I love the pain I love the pain. The pain is life re-affirmed again.
Numbness comes of nothingness. You feel life when you get crushed. (It's real, it's real).
Lovely women. Beautiful girls. Wrapped up in silk; long flowing curls. It's your fifteen minutes alive on the stage. The moment is yours, but the lights soon will fade...
While roles are imposed, you and I just don't care. Be who we are-Fuck those who stare. Dance on the stage, camp it up for the crowd. You know that you're stunning; hold your head proud.
Oh Girls. Beautiful women. Satin dollies, midnight follies. We love you, we adore you, though some folks just don't quite understand.
Oh girls. Lovely ladies. Strike the chorus; always gorgeous! You fascinate, you encapsulate. Though I know you're not really there.
THE COLOR IS DAMP
It's always damp. Always grey. The overcast don't leave it stays. My mood is chewed; twisted, screwed. Can't find focus through the dew.
Get up, look 'round. It's all grey; I come right back down. Mist hangs so heavy in the sky- it fell down and clouds my mind.
I love the rain. It fits my mood. The way the grey expresses my blues(hoo hoo). Avoiding problems; I will stall. Inner turmoil joins in the squall.
Trip up. Fall down. Get up, I stumple around. Mist hangs so heavy in the sky- it fell down and clouds my mind.
Overcast again today.
Bagged by blandness-everyday. The best it gets is dry, but grey. Damp, the color; Washington. Where global warming never comes.
Get up, look 'round. It's all grey; I come right back down. Upside-d-down clouds, they call it home- here in Seattle town.
Overcast again today.
I'm on a holiday inside my mind, looking for tourist traps I can find. No travel agency; I can't afford that kind. But still I've left my home far behind.
I'm away from this place-not really in this world; another one to me has been unfurled. It's where I want to be-at least for now. I'll return soon, but don't care how.
I'm on a plane, but it doesn't have wings. In the world I'm at, there's just no use for such things. I can go anywhere- I just close my eyes. I'm there in an instant-reality dies!
I was here just a moment ago-now I'm gone some other place; don't know what level I'm on. I'd find the information booth inside my head; but don't care where I'm at, or where I'm led.
I'm on a holiday---inside my mind...
TYPE 9 CLOSED MIND
I wasn't there, they never were, we don't exist, I'm not here anyway. Had my suspicions, but a reliable source told me just the other day.
I wondered why the space I occupy's not where I thought I'd be. Well now I know the reason for; there's never been a me.
I was with them; we once was then. I sound like this, but I look like him.
Facts are yours to use or fake. What difference now does it make, (to a type 9 closed mind).
You saw us long ago; a swell guy named Hugo gave our first show. But then again, that cannot have been, (or so I've been told).
I've seen this scene, both fat and lean; been in and out again. Re-written now, it's different somehow than I remember then.
You've heard this sound; Off Ramped before? Gorilla Gardens, Metropolis, Behind the Grey Door.
The Graven Image, Eagle's RckCandy Tugs Wrex Underground; no Phoenix rose on Squid Row, OK...
I work in a factory, that's what I do. My name is different there: 95012.
Don't always know what I build...and I don't care....long as at the end of the week, my check is there.
Dirt! Dust! Grease on the floor! Noise! Stench! My body's sore!
I gotta job, I don't have no career. I know it sucks ass, but it pays my beer.
I work for a living, I don't live to work. This ain't who I am, it's what I do for perks.
Fork-lifts! Trucks in the house! Hard hats! My spirit's doused!
Always on my feet...I never get to sit. Spose I should feel tired, but I'm just too beat to give a shit.
Just the other day, I hit the end of my luck. They tried to fire me...just for saying fuck!!! (That's all I said).
Hollowpoints and carbines. Multi round magazines.
Not a gun hater, nor gun lover.
The right says few rights are left. What is right; I can't guess.
I Leave gun control alone for others.
I want a flame thrower. Guns could not interest me less.
I need a fire blower; that catches my interest.
I want to throw flame, and then I'll blame congress.
I want a flame thrower! (...I guess)?
Infernal feel for phosphorus. My palms rub on nabalm balm.
You'll cop a tone readily redder than the dawn.
Internal 'ferno furnace set- gotta get my thermite lit.
Man mantled, Pele sparks the catalyst.
Got a flame thrower in hand, I'll set your heart ablaze.
With my fire blower I'd stand; you'd look lovely in the haze.
When my flame's firmly thrown, I'd ignite the fires of passion.
If I could force fire forth, I'd see some girly action.
GOSH I'M SORRY
Gosh I'm sorry that I don't wear the clothes that you do. Gosh I'm sorry that I don't play your music for you.
Gosh I'm sorry that you have trouble accepting me dude. Gosh I'm sorry...no I'm not!
Don't mean shit to me that I don't mean shit to you. I feel so damn sorry for you, yes I do.
Gosh I'm sorry that you've got such an attitude. Gosh I'm sorry that in your mind I'm fucking rude.
Gosh I'm sorry that I forgot to check your rules. Gosh I'm sorry...no I'm not!
You poor boys and girls in your own little world. I feel so damn sorry for you, yes I do.
I AM AN AMERICAN
What the fuck is wrong with you? Your face is full of lies. It's not like you've got much to gain by it.
You're a window to my eyes. I see through you like the whole hole you are; an empty one at that.
You're proof no truth lives inside your heart, no honor underneath your hat.
You liberally dole out conservative thought that I don't want to hear.
The only thing worse than a liberal's a conservative my dear.
If a country wipes a booger on us; it's treachery.
But when we do the same thing, it's national security. It's called national suck-yur-ity.
SO WAVE THOSE FLAGS HIGH; IT HELPS TO COVER YOUR EYES. LIKE IT SAYS ON THE BUMPER STICKER-THIS LAND IS FOR YOU AND I!
Oh yes I am an American, brave in my home-free in my land. At least in my own head I am. My thoughts have yet to be banned.
So take another healthy bite out of society's carcass. Send us to happy camps, like cords of wood, you will park us.
Stack 'em up!
I pull up to the box, ask for bovine, tubers and grease.
Top it off with citric acid and corn syrup. I consume.
I see! I hear! I obey! I buy! Live! Buy! Consume! Die!
I flip through stacks and stacks but never find what I look for.
So I end up taking something I do not want.
Still, I consume.
I see! I hear! I obey! I buy! Live! Buy! Consume! Die!
I roll down ails find threads all joined togather; keep me warm.
Picking fruit from looms I cover my nakedness.
I consume. I see! I hear! I obey! I Buy! Live! Buy! Consume! Die!
LESSONS DRAWN FROM MY TV
From the Bentbones, I learned some history. Cavemen smoked Winsome cigarettes, apparently.
Seen my future. The son of Jets had stuff of stars. I've rode moving sidewalks; but where's my flying car?
Overdog fights crimes with motorhead rhymes. The super energy pill in his ring is chrystaline.
Buns Buggy bisexual cross dresser, but we kids didn't care, because he's so clever.
All are orphans on Dizzy Walt productions; wearing shirts but no pants, with genitalia reduction.
Dy-na-mite, shotgun blast or a cannon. The results are the same; slightly charred, but still standing.
More moronic sponsers confused my conscience.
Fruit fetish rabbit turns tricks for his habit.
Small charming man, bad luck; they're always after him.
..(these lessons drawn from my tv...and passed on to me)!
Pie-pop packs energy herbage in cans; that and long nights at sea swell his arms near his hands.
Snerfs; the bluest hue in all animation. Seems they all gotta lotta auto'rotic fixation!
Yoo Hoo and Bogie, burrough bears from the projects; cross their turf and they'll pick on you, (and nic your basket).
It's OK if you're starting to fall, just pretend you don't notice; you'll go nowhere at all.
...and in between these things; more lessons from advertising...
with the right name on my shoes; I'll run faster, jump higher than you..
hot liquid can be good food. my soda flavor's been improved.
..(you learn a lot from your tv...like how to "be")!
I had a dog, his name was Khan. He up and died; he's doggone gone. Muss-Puss was my grey striped cat.
A big car hit him; he went splat.
ZeeZee was my rat, my rodent; died of tumors, very potent. All my fuckin' fish, they died.
The toilet bowl's where they reside.
All these creatures were my pets. None of them will I forget. All the good times, all the fun. Fuck it. Get another one.
No lyrics. Nothing
No words. Blank.
No thoughts. Empty.
No feelings. Numb..numb..numb...
NO MELONS IN EPHRATA
I grew up in a small town, though there were no melons around.
There were rednecks and hippies. Not much color, but there was me!
I would go back some day, but I doubt that much has changed.
They always cursed my name, could it still be the same?
They won't remember me, At least that'd be something.
Everyone knew everything and some things that never were.
In their minds they knew me well. I was bad; the boy from hell.
Yeh I'm from hell alright! Hell of a little town. My life: bored misery.
They all done fucked with me.
Ain't never goin' back. Ain't even gonna pack.
No felony ever fell on me. I was Mr. Misdemeanor. If I was there they'd all just stare.
They'd scream and cuss: not one of us!....'cause they're so small town.
TEAR THE GRAVEL
Tear the gravel bits out of your knee.
Through gritted teeth you speak: "it doesn't bother me.
I've been doing this shit since I was three.
Every shard and piece; a memory"...a memory...
Drag the ragged sliver from your hand.
Then hand me back a line how you accept and understand..
..pain better than the plans made by yourself in your own tree,
(but still you stand alone in front of me)...in front of me...empty.
Forgotten footprints in the dark, edges worn with time.
The colors fading now with age; beautifully sublime.
With effort pain is silenced, growing fainter every day..
Don't force your reach beyond your hand...(you couldn't anyway).
Writhe against the knife you've laid upon.
Feining pain, you vainly try validifing cons you've dreamed up for you and me,
that neither one of us believes...
And plainly veil ourselves from our reality....our own reality...
THANK YOU DOCTOR
Diazapan my pal. I'm feeling really swell. Normal thinking near. I'm nearly like my peers.
Thank you doctor. I used to be confused, but now all thanks to you, I know my mind's O.K.
It's alright to think this way. Thank you doctor.
All songs written by Scotty Buttocks, ASCAP, 2002-2013
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